Saturday 6 February 2010

Hampstead Heath, NW3

The Gothic appearance and gloomy atmosphere of this convenience on Hampstead Heath have long made it a favourite of celebrities ranging from George Michael to Dracula, and it features in Bram Stoker’s novel when Van Helsing visits the facility but is attacked by the Count in one of the cubicles, only managing to escape after he temporarily stuns him by constructing a crucifix out of old toilet rolls.

A similar method of ambush had been used by Dick Turpin the previous century as, prior to employing a horse-based method of robbery, he used to pounce on his victims as they sat helplessly on the toilet, inventing the cry ‘stand and deliver’ to sarcastically refer to his victim being unable to stand up due to being in the middle of expelling a stool. Turpin made use of the toilet once more some years later when he hid in there whilst escaping from some men who were trying to arrest him, claiming that, due to an ancient bylaw, wanted criminals could claim sanctuary in public toilet cubicles in the same way they could in churches. The lawmen unwisely left him to check the statute books and when they returned after finding that no such law existed, Turpin had long since escaped.